dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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