I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
