the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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