Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
