2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
