would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
