Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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