I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
