I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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