are you still at the devil's house?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
