After last night, I could never be a politician.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
