I'm really into asian looking animals
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
