so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
they're like a gay fantastic four
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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