i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
