I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
