He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
