I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
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