in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
