I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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