Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
