Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
