So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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