i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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