the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
