Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
it's like heaven, but drunker
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
