This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
