bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
