We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
