hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
