drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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