It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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