Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i believe in u and ur pee
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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