What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
