We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
