hell yes lets make some ravioli
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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