We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
