I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
