And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
