Sry I called you an 8
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
