I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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