its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
