I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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