How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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