just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
