you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
