he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
