scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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