I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
