Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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