and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I got inside last night via doggy door
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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