Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
