so explain again why im purple
no
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
